So, I got made redundant. I was expecting it to send me headfirst off the deep end, but I only really took a couple of days to drink and process and cry before putting a stop to that. The thing is, I understand that 2020 just is what it is – there’s nothing personal about it and it shits on everyone. But this job was my first professional job out of my degree, the stepping stone that would leave me qualified for my dream job. It was mine – and then it wasn’t.
The uncertainty was what hurt the most to start with. What now? Would I find something else? Something suitable? Something in my area of work? It’s hard to know what to do next and I’m so driven with my career that the idea of not being able to find the right thing breaks my heart.
But with uncertainty comes complete freedom. I’ve updated my CV with all the best juicy bits of my professional experience, applied for about 1000 jobs and I’ve come out of the other end feeling confident that something better will make its way into my life.
I have also been able to take any and all of my spare time and put it into some extra self-love and other niceties. Time to enjoy my friendships and relationships, to ensure I keep my surroundings fresh and clean and bright. To read my favourite books and watch my favourite shows. Right now, I am cuddled up with my dog watching Buffy after a lovely breakfast and I have applied for a few more jobs from the comfort of my bed.
I’ve also been in touch with my mental health clinic to organise my outpatient assessment so I’m one step closer to the life I want to be living on all fronts. Onwards and upwards.