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BPD diagnosis

So I’ve had a day to process finally receiving a formal BPD/EUPD diagnosis now and there have been a boatload of different emotions floating around in my mind that I thought I would share.

Firstly, it’s overwhelming. It’s overwhelming to put a name to the things I have been developing, dealing with and asking for help with for nearly a decade. It’s overwhelming that I’ll have this diagnosis for the rest of my life, and I’ll always have to work to learn and utilise healthier coping mechanisms and emotional regulation strategies. There isn’t a quick fix and I will for sure have to make some less than comfortable lifestyle changes long-term.

But the more I think about it, the more I definitely see this as a relief – a positive thing. I now have the ability to access the treatments and therapies that I need with the confidence that I am seen and heard. I do not have to spend anymore time begging people to understand what I’m going through or feeling lost and alone. I am validated in my struggles and can sit comfortably in the knowledge that I’m not just some fuck-up.

I have a new chapter of healing and growth ahead of me and a better understanding of myself as a person and the things I need. I can connect with and learn from the right people. I can access the right help for me. I can breathe.

So yes, a diagnosis has helped to clarify a lot of things in my head, but no it definitely does not define me as a person. I am still the same person I was before, I just have a clearer understanding of how I can help myself heal now. 💗

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